Fabric has a distinct feeling.
The undulation of texture, when stretched or exposed to water, is something I never really thought about. Then in an instant, I was standing there frumpy and smelly from sweat before a pristine rack of dresses that were for loves yet to be actualized. My clothing looked like rags in comparison, but I didn't have much time for self-pity. As she wheeled the rack out to make space for a portrait, I couldn't help but notice how Tashina touched each of them like a child she had carried and now will put up for adoption. A mix of swelling pride, completion and sentimentality came across her face before we sat down and chatted.
"I traveled so much when I was a kid. My dad worked with the military. So every year, we would travel to a different city and I would go to different school. And then finally settled in St. Louis for high school. You have to learn how to make friends and adapt to a different city every time."
On home: "Home in Los Angeles feels like home to me. It's the longest place I've ever lived. It feels like home. I know so much more about this town than any other I've ever lived in."
On never growing up: "It's easy to not grow up here. It's kind of like an angel city where people can be here and they can be different ages and not really ever have to grow up. I feel like if you go back to where my parents are in St. Louis or where my fiance's family is in Chicago everybody has kids and a family and a house.
Here I am I'm 34. So it's funny just like growing up and because we're getting married in November and I’m trying to afford a house and having kids and the whole deal is intense to think about. Your freedom is being able to do what you want and really feeling true happiness doing it."
“What’s the biggest scam in America? Mental slavery. Medically, America pushes pharmaceuticals a lot in. It's just easier to give you a pill but I'll just “solve a problem” and you're mentally enslaved by a prescription drug where I feel like a lot of other countries allow for holistic healing. I know we're starting to get in move in that direction and I feel like L.A. like larger cities are a little bit more attuned to that but still the number one problem we have here is addiction to prescription drugs. “
On Divorce + New Love:
"I think home in my previous marriage was like an idealistic view of what I thought home would be because when I got married so young at 24, I was like Oh this can work out we're going to have a family in the House and the whole deal the picket fence and all of this And it just Didn't pan out that way. So it was kind of like I had the rug pulled out from underneath me. But, I needed that to be fully happy with where I am now. Now I'm so much more myself. And so much more free. I needed to go through all of those steps to finally feel at home with myself."
“I got married super young when I was 24. He was an alcoholic and I just I didn't really have a life other than taking care of him all the time. Now I feel like I have so much more true freedom.”
From St. Louis, MO.
Lives in Los Angeles, Ca.